Patong, Phuket Province.

Most nights of the first week are blurred into to one anyway so I'll just pretend it was. After a Pad Thai Gai or similar at one of the eateries whose name I'll never remember (laughable that we bumped into some kids who said Lonely Planet said some place was better than the next, walking past dozens of identical places only to realise they probably interchange their names on daily basis just for shits and giggles) we invariable ended up somewhere on Soi Bangla. Some culture was embraced as Longy would put it - I'm still not sure whose culture exactly - and then somehow we would all end up back at our hotel in the wee hours to share a few stories and consider just whose job it was to feed the birds during the day.

The days were spent sleeping intertwined with stints in the pool bar, shopping for counterfeit DVD/shirt/watches/suits/experiences or searching out another Pad Thai.

We did take a boat trip out to a few of the islands around Koh Phi Phi. 'The Beach' Island is in fact a figment of our imaginations put there  (if you've read the book you already know this) to make us believe that this little beach is better than any other little beach on any other little island. But then if i lived on that other little island I wouldn't want hundreds of boats a day on my beach either. You have to concentrate pretty hard to have that image of this beautiful beach to yourself and for that split second you have it is worth it. Only to be shattered a split second later by another outboard motor starting up. Time to go. It's better lost in your head anyway because the reality isn't nearly as sweet.  All said the sheer limestone cliffs dropping to the water is a magnificent sight and it would be unfair to have them to myself. And really I'm no different to any of the other thousands of people seeing what I am seeing and thinking what I am thinking, wishing i was sharing this with only those close to me, and not that annoying looking ginger kid with the annoying voice who won't shut up . 

Snorkeling was a similarly annoying affair, OK if it weren't for hundreds of other people. At times I forgot I was snorkeling and was drawn back to that time I was in a flotilla of lifeless bodies after a shipwreck, only held above the water by a bright orange life jacket (or was that hair) and it seems the will to annoy the shit out of me back on the boat. And that guy who failed to see the correlation between standing on the reef and those sea urchin spines in his foot. And the constant threat of being scalped by one of the other boats.  All those people won't be a problem in a few years, there will be no reef to snorkel and the boats will be somewhere else. Again how can I claim to be any different? 

After lunch on the Phi Phi the last stop was on a small not so secluded island on the way back to Phuket Town. Laying back in a beach chair, having a beer and talking shit with Andy, overhearing the tales of other travellers, 'Killed a shark with his bare hands', 'I'm in the army', ' Could swim to that island over there and back in ten minutes', ' I Have killed a man, I have photos'. Incidentally this was all from one Israel guy in about 5 minutes trying to impress a couple of American girls. Makes me wonder if I should lie more. All up a pretty good day out with the lads. 

We all took a cooking class on the last day. Needless to say we're all awesome Thai chefs now and some significant others and house mates should expect nothing but Thai food for some time to come.


After the lads left I took to a more humble abode a bit off of the stirp. Less crowds, less gap year kids, more long termers, retirees and middle aged men with young thai girls on their arms. A few days there, taking in a slightly different part of town, staying out of the persisent rain and wondering around bazaan market and food stalls at night.

Took a bus to Phuket Town, booked a ticket for that night to Bangkok. Devastated to find that the Ray Bans I had purchased from some guy off the street a week early had ceased to function as intended, I can't remember if he gave me the receipt but either way I will have to write a strongly worded letter to Ray Ban's quality assurance because I had really come to expect much better from such a brand. Phuket Town itself is nothing special, a decent second hand book store being the high light. Buses were pretty flash. I got handed some food and a juice on departure; also a blanket, a bit optimistic I thought given it was still near 30c and humid but sure enough I was pulling it over 10 minutes later. Pulled front seat which from my experience is not the best place to sit in developing nations. At least if I got a little spooked watching the bus drivers endeavours to overtake in spite of the oncoming traffic there was always the Thai  pulp gore/horror flick on the widescreen LCD TV inches from my face with surrond sound at full blast to keep me settled.